My name is Demrie.
Jesus follower. 30 years old. Single. Cancer battler.
These are a few descriptors of my life right now. On July 28th, 2017 I received news that rocked my world. I went to the doctor assuming my problem would be small and easily fixable and left entering a battle I had never anticipated having to fight. Cancer is something that happens around you, but you never think it will happen to you. And especially at 29 I never guessed I would be in this boat. I exercised, I ate healthy, I did what all adults do to try and maintain a healthy life style. And in one minute none of that mattered.
While it took a major surgery, some brutal healing, and what seemed like a million doctors appointments to figure this out officially, I have Stage 4 Appendix Cancer. You might say, “Well I have never heard of such a thing?!?!” Well neither had I, but now I know more about it than I ever hoped too. According to doctors my chances of a full recovery are “minimal.” I say this not to scare you or cause anyone pain, but it is my reality. A hard and brutal reality, but one that I have been forced to live in.
In such a reality you learn to live a little differently. You learn to live each day just for that day. At first I was bombarded with the broad picture, all the possibilities and the “what if’s” seemed to almost drown me and my family. Then I came to the realization that I had to start living life differently. God has taught me during this process to choose to live just for today. There is a section in Matthew 6 that talks about how we must live without worrying about tomorrow. This section of verses ends with a simple statement that I have done my best to live by, making it my goal to remember that – “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt 6:34). And my reality is that God has given me just enough grace for today.
Many of my tomorrows stand in question. Where will this path take me? What doctors will God lead me to? What treatment will God use on this journey? There are far too many questions to dwell on. This would drive me quite literally insane. But instead my choice is this: live with all these questions overwhelming each day, OR live knowing that God is in control and none of this has come as a surprise to Him. God knows my life, the number of breaths I will take and the hairs on my head – even when that number is rapidly decreasing each day. 🙂 And even more importantly I can trust this God. He has given me enough strength and peace for today. Just enough for today. So my anthem in this season has become – just enough grace for today…