No Words…

This week I find myself without words. I have thought and thought on what to share this week, but my heart just feels tired. Chronic pain has a way of draining you in ways you didn’t think possible. My head and my heart feel overwhelmed many days, as I struggle with my new reality. I can’t sit up for very long because my hips and back begin to hurt, but I also can’t lay down without much aid and manipulation because any pressure on my shoulder sends shooting pain through my whole left arm. Laying on my side makes my back hurt… And on and on it goes. Not to mention the emotional struggle of waiting to see if my liver function will return to normal enough to qualify for a trial. We are in a limbo of extremes that weighs heavily on the soul.

I have made a few observations over the last few weeks that I will share with you today. They won’t be earth shattering, but truth is truth no matter how many times we have heard it.

1. Truth never Fails.

In moments I feel I have nothing left, I have been trying to constantly remind myself what is true. I am more and more thankful for the treasures I have stored in my heart- memorizing God’s Word, meditating on God’s Word. Having these truths in your heart will pay major dividends in the end. Because when the pain strikes and I feel too emotionally worn to battle, the Holy Spirit has truth to work with! Storing God’s Word in your heart will always return a reward to both your heart and your life.

Psalm 119:9-11 says:

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word.
 I seek you with all my heart;
do not let me stray from your commands.
 I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.

2. Community is a Necessity

The longer this journey continues the more I am certain that we were not made to live life alone. God designed us as relationship people, and without community and fellowship we are not living our lives in the fullness of how God designed us. For me, having community or people come along side me is even more vital. I practically cannot do life on my own right now. I need help with day to day tasks.

I have been blown away by the support and encouragement of my Mother specifically during this time. She has basically moved in with me and has been my constant help in this very dark season. Without her support I don’t know how I would be able to deal with my circumstances, as I am now.

We need people to come along side us. Support us. Encourage us. Especially in seasons of trial and tribulation. Make sure you invest in these kinds of relationships. God will use those in your community to support you in in your time of need.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

So, there you have it my friends. I know my words are few this week, but I pray these truths will sink deep into your heart. That God will use my observations in the midst of pain to grow your relationship with Him. Because intimacy with our Savior is our highest and deepest calling. My pain is real, but God is greater. My emotional distress is real, but God’s love is bigger. Even on my darkest nights, I choose to believe and remember that God gives me just enough grace for today….

11 thoughts on “No Words…

  1. Demrie, just want you to know there are 20 women you have never met praying for you. You have encouraged us by your words and faith and you are loved.

  2. Demrie, you are a true inspiration. I have been following your Facebook posts but haven’t read any of your blogs. Trials are tough (and by no means can I say that I understand at all what all you are going through), and I honestly haven’t been reading your blog posts because I didn’t know if I had the heart to read about another person’s trials when in a trial oneself. Something urged me today to read your post – perhaps it was the header of saying there are no words. I am so glad I did though. I am amazed at your strength of still turning to God, still praising God, still putting your hope in God despite the great pain that you are in. I cannot agree with your more fully about the importance of community during this time. One of my favorite verses aligns with what you listed in Hebrews 10. It comes from 2 Cor: 3-5 – “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” This has brought me understanding of community and trial in that trials give us the empathy to comfort others during trial and also this is why community is so critical to allow others to comfort us. Even though I’m sure at times you feel like you are purely taking comfort from others, the strength you exude and your commitment to God is a comfort to others that are struggling with trials, even if much less painful than what you are going through. That’s all a mess of thoughts, but I really just want to say that your words here are encouraging to me to stay the course and continue to seek God and community even when you feel like your physical body is fighting you. Thank you for your spiritual strength. I pray for you regularly, Demrie. My heart is heavy for you but your words bring joy to my soul.

  3. My dearest Demri, how I long to be there to give you a hug and say words of encouragement. Bob and I are praying for no pain and complete healing for you. God works in ways that mortal man cannot understand. Sometimes He heals immediately; sometimes He says “ No.” Other times He says, “Not Now” or “I have a better plan.” The one thing I do know is that God is faithful. He walks in front of you, behind you, and uplifts you on each side.

    As I sat this morning praying for you, the Holy Spirit gave me these verses to share with you.

    Isaiah 40:31 New International Version (NIV)
    31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

    Deuteronomy 31:6 New International Version (NIV)
    6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

    Matthew 11:28-29 New International Version (NIV)
    28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

    2 Corinthians 1:3-4 New International Version (NIV)
    3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

    Jeremiah 29:11 New International Version (NIV)
    11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    2 Corinthians 4:16-18 New International Version (NIV)
    16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

    It is our prayer that these verses will strengthen and give you encouragement.

    Jesus loves you and so do we.
    Mr. and Mrs. L

  4. Demrie, I am a friend of Myra’s. We taught together for many years in Iowa. She told me about you, your circumstances, and your blog and asked me to read it. I read the “About” section and “No Words” so far, and what you are experiencing makes any issues I deal with from time to time pale in comparison. I am offering prayers for you for peace and relief from pain. God is good in all circumstances all the time, and may He bless you richly.

  5. A friend of mine always says, “If you feel far away from God, guess who moved?” She is so right, and I shared her words with a friend of mine as we left Sunday worship services because I’ve been feeling that way lately. But God does whisper, and I came home to find my friend and yours, Myra LaFrentz, in my email inbox with a request to pray for you and that I read your blog. Your words of truth and faith are moving me in the right direction, Demrie. God bless you richly and strengthen you.

  6. Demrie,
    I am a friend of Myra LaFrentz and wanted to reach out to you and your family. Please know you are in my prayers and I applaud your bravery, passion, and faith. Believe fully in what you pray for, our God is an awesome God. Put your faith and peace in Him and He will not let you down. Many blessings! -Shyanne Dupuy (Smith)

  7. Demri, just to let you know that you are being uplifted with prayer not only during the daylight hours but also in the middle of the night. For some reason, I wake up every night about 2:00. It is quiet and I pray for you. I wonder if you are awake also. I call to remembrance what Paul did at midnight. He prayed and sang praises to our Heavenly Father. My prayers are for your family as well.

    Mrs. L.

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